I have been a missionary
for almost three years now. Going on through life as a missionary I get a lot
of people asking me what I will do with my life. I tell them " I want to
be a missionary all my life". All I get is puzzled looks. I attempt to
explain what I mean by being a missionary and I seem to fail. In the end they
are still confused with why I do what I do. I can only think about the thoughts
that run through their mind. "oh this girl doesn't know what she
wants" or "It seems like she won't accomplish much because she is not
even thinking about going to university, all she cares about is traveling and
being a missionary, whatever that means." I might be making assumptions,
but that is the vibe I get after those repeated conversations about what I do
with my life.
I have to admit that my reaction to this has
been to try and find my purpose. What will I do to make this world better. As I
was doing a discipleship program with YWAM. (Check the "who I work
with" tab if you don't know what YWAM is). Well, as I was in that program
I was eagerly praying and asking God, what is my purpose. What will my ministry
focus be? As a missionary you have so many options, you can work with children,
start an orphanage, help the people in the street, build houses for poor
people, go to India and work with the people there. There is a whole world of
options to choose from.
I was trying so hard that in the first moment of passion for an issue I had, I took it as mine. I took sex traffic and pornography as what I was passionate to fight against in life. I thought, yes, I finally found something that I can tell people I do. Maybe if I say this I will find people who believe in my vision of being a missionary. I let my identity as a missionary become Stephanie, the missionary who wants to fight against sex trafficking and sexual abuse. After I went to Sweden and wrote a paper on pornography as an addiction, I felt overwhelmed with how deep this issue is. I thought it was the root of sex trafficking and sexual abuse, but I found out that the real root of the issue is dysfunctional families and wrong ideas about other humans and their bodies. I was overwhelmed with how big this issue is and by the thousands of organizations fighting against this. I lost my passion for the issue.
I started having other interests. I explored working with youth, and just talking to them. Showing them God in me and not just telling them. I figured that the reason I had that split moment of passion for that issue was not in vain. It is only a puzzle piece to the big picture that God has for me. I cannot tell you now what is my specific purpose in life or in what direction I am taking this whole missionary thing to. I don't know. All I know is that I think this is worth it. Think about it. We are Christians, we go around saying we believe in God and what He is doing in many lives. But what is it that we are treasuring in our hearts? What are we valuing the most? Is it having the newest car, a big house and a great job so that we can store stuff? These are not bad things, I want these things to a certain degree. I can tell you that when I decided that my career is God and my whole life is God I did it thinking about this:
God is eternal. He gave me a commandment to spread His kingdom. There is nothing more valuable for me in this world than dedicating my whole life to seeing His kingdom spread out through the nations. Everything else will fade away but in the end all I will have is God. In the end all that we will have is God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. It fills my heart with joy and passion. I want to dedicate my life to seeing people believe that all that matters is having God be the Saviour of their souls. That is what I am doing with my life. That is my purpose, the reason I live. We have a choice, we either store things up on earth or focus on the eternal, and that is the kingdom of heaven.
I am looking for people who believe in this purpose. I not only want this but I need people to be part of this with me. I am tired of doing it alone and asking people to join but no one decides to take the challenge with me. I need people to pray with me, I need back up. I need people to help me pay for this lifestyle I live. I don't get a salary for my work. If you are willing to take this challenge then write me an email, or a message on Fb saying I want to be part of this. This is me asking you to be part of it. I want a prayer team. Can you imagine if I had a prayer team how much more Jesus would do through me and through you who are praying with me? Just think about it. Take the challenge.
I want to thank those who have taken the challenge with me in these past three years. You have been such and incredible blessing. With every donation, be it small or big, I have always smiled to the fact that there are people out there who believe in my greater purpose and our greater purpose as the body of Christ. So, Thank you! Gracias! tack så mycket!
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
-Matthew 6:19-21
7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
-2 Corinthians 9:7
I was trying so hard that in the first moment of passion for an issue I had, I took it as mine. I took sex traffic and pornography as what I was passionate to fight against in life. I thought, yes, I finally found something that I can tell people I do. Maybe if I say this I will find people who believe in my vision of being a missionary. I let my identity as a missionary become Stephanie, the missionary who wants to fight against sex trafficking and sexual abuse. After I went to Sweden and wrote a paper on pornography as an addiction, I felt overwhelmed with how deep this issue is. I thought it was the root of sex trafficking and sexual abuse, but I found out that the real root of the issue is dysfunctional families and wrong ideas about other humans and their bodies. I was overwhelmed with how big this issue is and by the thousands of organizations fighting against this. I lost my passion for the issue.
I started having other interests. I explored working with youth, and just talking to them. Showing them God in me and not just telling them. I figured that the reason I had that split moment of passion for that issue was not in vain. It is only a puzzle piece to the big picture that God has for me. I cannot tell you now what is my specific purpose in life or in what direction I am taking this whole missionary thing to. I don't know. All I know is that I think this is worth it. Think about it. We are Christians, we go around saying we believe in God and what He is doing in many lives. But what is it that we are treasuring in our hearts? What are we valuing the most? Is it having the newest car, a big house and a great job so that we can store stuff? These are not bad things, I want these things to a certain degree. I can tell you that when I decided that my career is God and my whole life is God I did it thinking about this:
God is eternal. He gave me a commandment to spread His kingdom. There is nothing more valuable for me in this world than dedicating my whole life to seeing His kingdom spread out through the nations. Everything else will fade away but in the end all I will have is God. In the end all that we will have is God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. It fills my heart with joy and passion. I want to dedicate my life to seeing people believe that all that matters is having God be the Saviour of their souls. That is what I am doing with my life. That is my purpose, the reason I live. We have a choice, we either store things up on earth or focus on the eternal, and that is the kingdom of heaven.
I am looking for people who believe in this purpose. I not only want this but I need people to be part of this with me. I am tired of doing it alone and asking people to join but no one decides to take the challenge with me. I need people to pray with me, I need back up. I need people to help me pay for this lifestyle I live. I don't get a salary for my work. If you are willing to take this challenge then write me an email, or a message on Fb saying I want to be part of this. This is me asking you to be part of it. I want a prayer team. Can you imagine if I had a prayer team how much more Jesus would do through me and through you who are praying with me? Just think about it. Take the challenge.
I want to thank those who have taken the challenge with me in these past three years. You have been such and incredible blessing. With every donation, be it small or big, I have always smiled to the fact that there are people out there who believe in my greater purpose and our greater purpose as the body of Christ. So, Thank you! Gracias! tack så mycket!
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
-Matthew 6:19-21
7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
-2 Corinthians 9:7
No comments:
Post a Comment