Test my Heart

Praise Report: I got the final 300 dollars I needed for this quarters tuition! I am allowed back in class! Now to continue raising support for the next quarter! My goal is $1050.

Going through the stages of my life as a missionary, there has always been something consistent in my journey. There always seemed to be a barrier that I think keeps me from doing what I want, and that is money. It is the paper that seems to run our life. Our life usually revolves around how much money we are able to make. Unfortunately it is how we measure how worthy we are.

However is our worth really on how much of this paper we own?

When I am taking a class with YWAM I find myself being part of the group of people that don't have money to pay for the class. Tears fall down my face whenever I am called up to the front to receive prayer because I don't have money. A sense of shame comes over me. I feel as if I am less than my other classmates who seem to have no problem to get money. Every single time I am there, God shows His power, He shows me that there is no piece of paper that will limit him. I have seen Him provide for all the money I need and He always gives me more than I ask for.

Two days ago I was in the same spot again. As the class was praying for me tears came down my face. God was telling me, I am testing your heart. I want to see how faithful you are to me, how much do you really trust me. I was challenged to remember every time that God provided for everything I needed and trust that He was faithful before and how He is still faithful today.

The point I want to get to is that there is nothing that limits God, not situations, not people’s lack of disposition and definitively not money. Many times we feel limited because of our background, because people around us don't support or agree with what we are doing. Then we feel limited by our circumstances and therefore we limit God's power. It becomes hard to believe that God would break the barrier of a hardened heart, or of money. Since people don't support us we make the mistake to think that maybe God is not in our side. We forget that God is not human; he is not limited by anything. Not even by our bad heart attitude.

If there is something I have learned every time I am in need of something, is that God is faithful, that He cares to see me grow in trusting Him more and more every day. It is the same with you, no matter what you are going through, there is no depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, hopelessness, loneliness, there is nothing that will limit God from getting you out of what is troubling your heart and making you feel empty inside. Set your trust on Him, love Him and He will take care of all those things in your life that seem to be overtaking you. He is faithful and He will always be!