Many times it's hard to realize that distractions are our biggest enemies. I don't know what was going on but it didn't matter how much I tried to sit down and work I could not manage to stop and study. Nothing about studying the book of Samuel sounded exciting to me, especially not the huge amount of homework we have. Seven PM, time to go back to homework came, I "started". My friend Jeremiah came into the room and said I bet you that she is doing everything but homework. I sat down "determined" to do homework, but what was the first thing I did? ...Facebook. Then Jeremiah told me the obvious solution, pray. He said "Pray so that God can take away your distractions." Why didn't I think about it before! So he and I prayed, I honestly thought God would gradually respond to my prayer, but he didn't! I focused on my homework immediately! 

        I honestly shouldn't be surprised about this, I have been learning about how God listens to our prayers, and he listens to those who seek him and love him. I started interpreting the first few chapters of Samuel. I am halfway through one of the interpretations because God has shown me something that has touched my heart so much and I just had to stop and think about it. I have been doing homework with God; we are discussing the chapters and what he is saying through the stories. He is telling me how he felt about certain situations that happened. These are real stories, they happened in real life! 

        So, this was the situation. The Israelites in the time of Samuel were slowly starting to understand who God was. They have been so influenced by the gods of the nations around them; their theology is completely off the lines. Their mayor enemies, the Philistines have come and attacked them. They killed many Israelites. The Israelites think that they have a solution. They think that if the priests bring the Ark of the Covenant (where God's presence was) then they will win the battle against the Philistines. The problem was that the priests at that time did not know God, and they were very corrupt. What happened to them? They got defeated by the Philistines, and not only that but they even stole the Ark of the Covenant! This is what I wrote:

(1 Samuel 4:1-11)

"Interpretation Question: Why didn't it work for the Israelites to bring the Ark to battle?

Interpretation: The reason why it didn't work was because it was not about having God’s presence in front of them, but it was about the situation of their hearts, and of the hearts of the priests who had the ark. The original readers could learn that it is the same for them, it is not about just the presence of the LORD being present but about the situation of their heart before the LORD, if they follow him then God will honor them in battles. What good was it for them to have God's presence if God was not pleased by their hearts? 

Timeless Truth: It is not just about having the presence of God but about your heart to God. " 

        This just hit me; we can think that if we face our problems with just the word of God then we will conquer those problems. We can recite verses and make people think that the presence of God is with us through that. But more important than just recited words or the longing of having his presence around us is that we are obedient. We cannot objectify God, he is not just an object that we carry around, and if we carry him our problems will be solved; He is God. He looks into our heart, and our intentions. Our focus should always be to know Him better, and if we know him better then we will obey and walk according to his will; He will be with us. If the Israelites had known how important it was for them to leave behind the idea that God is like other gods, and decided to really follow God then God would have helped them win the battle. It is the same with us, we cannot compare God to how people are, He is different. We cannot please God in the same way we please people. We cannot follow a certain formula so that God will help us go through our problems. The only thing we have to do is get to know him, talk to him, spend time with him, read the Bible to get to know him, but never do it on your own but do it with God. 

        This is the big revelation, it is a very basic and simple concept, but there is so much power in it. I love how everything in the Bible comes down to getting to know God so that we may love him and obey him. This is a little bit of the Bible school for you, I love it. I am getting to know God through His word. I am being transformed in the process, and my love for Him is growing more and more every day. I challenge you to sit down, read, discover who God is through the Bible. If you don't understand it, then it means that you need to study it! You won't regret it! 

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Praise Report: I got the final 300 dollars I needed for this quarters tuition! I am allowed back in class! Now to continue raising support for the next quarter! My goal is $1050. 

Going through the stages of my life as a missionary, there has always been something consistent in my journey. There always seemed to be a barrier that I think keeps me from doing what I want, and that is money. It is the paper that seems to run our life. Our life usually revolves around how much money we are able to make. Unfortunately it is how we measure how worthy we are. 

However is our worth really on how much of this paper we own?

When I am taking a class with YWAM I find myself being part of the group of people that don't have money to pay for the class. Tears fall down my face whenever I am called up to the front to receive prayer because I don't have money. A sense of shame comes over me. I feel as if I am less than my other classmates who seem to have no problem to get money. Every single time I am there, God shows His power, He shows me that there is no piece of paper that will limit him. I have seen Him provide for all the money I need and He always gives me more than I ask for. 

Two days ago I was in the same spot again. As the class was praying for me tears came down my face. God was telling me, I am testing your heart. I want to see how faithful you are to me, how much do you really trust me. I was challenged to remember every time that God provided for everything I needed and trust that He was faithful before and how He is still faithful today. 

The point I want to get to is that there is nothing that limits God, not situations, not people’s lack of disposition and definitively not money. Many times we feel limited because of our background, because people around us don't support or agree with what we are doing. Then we feel limited by our circumstances and therefore we limit God's power. It becomes hard to believe that God would break the barrier of a hardened heart, or of money. Since people don't support us we make the mistake to think that maybe God is not in our side. We forget that God is not human; he is not limited by anything. Not even by our bad heart attitude. 

If there is something I have learned every time I am in need of something, is that God is faithful, that He cares to see me grow in trusting Him more and more every day. It is the same with you, no matter what you are going through, there is no depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, hopelessness, loneliness, there is nothing that will limit God from getting you out of what is troubling your heart and making you feel empty inside. Set your trust on Him, love Him and He will take care of all those things in your life that seem to be overtaking you. He is faithful and He will always be! 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

           I have been a missionary for almost three years now. Going on through life as a missionary I get a lot of people asking me what I will do with my life. I tell them " I want to be a missionary all my life". All I get is puzzled looks. I attempt to explain what I mean by being a missionary and I seem to fail. In the end they are still confused with why I do what I do. I can only think about the thoughts that run through their mind. "oh this girl doesn't know what she wants" or "It seems like she won't accomplish much because she is not even thinking about going to university, all she cares about is traveling and being a missionary, whatever that means." I might be making assumptions, but that is the vibe I get after those repeated conversations about what I do with my life. 

I have to admit that my reaction to this has been to try and find my purpose. What will I do to make this world better. As I was doing a discipleship program with YWAM. (Check the "who I work with" tab if you don't know what YWAM is). Well, as I was in that program I was eagerly praying and asking God, what is my purpose. What will my ministry focus be? As a missionary you have so many options, you can work with children, start an orphanage, help the people in the street, build houses for poor people, go to India and work with the people there. There is a whole world of options to choose from.
I was trying so hard that in the first moment of passion for an issue I had, I took it as mine. I took sex traffic and pornography as what I was passionate to fight against in life. I thought, yes, I finally found something that I can tell people I do. Maybe if I say this I will find people who believe in my vision of being a missionary. I let my identity as a missionary become Stephanie, the missionary who wants to fight against sex trafficking and sexual abuse. After I went to Sweden and wrote a paper on pornography as an addiction, I felt overwhelmed with how deep this issue is. I thought it was the root of sex trafficking and sexual abuse, but I found out that the real root of the issue is dysfunctional families and wrong ideas about other humans and their bodies. I was overwhelmed with how big this issue is and by the thousands of organizations fighting against this. I lost my passion for the issue.
I started having other interests. I explored working with youth, and just talking to them. Showing them God in me and not just telling them. I figured that the reason I had that split moment of passion for that issue was not in vain. It is only a puzzle piece to the big picture that God has for me. I cannot tell you now what is my specific purpose in life or in what direction I am taking this whole missionary thing to. I don't know. All I know is that I think this is worth it. Think about it. We are Christians, we go around saying we believe in God and what He is doing in many lives. But what is it that we are treasuring in our hearts? What are we valuing the most? Is it having the newest car, a big house and a great job so that we can store stuff? These are not bad things, I want these things to a certain degree. I can tell you that when I decided that my career is God and my whole life is God I did it thinking about this:
God is eternal. He gave me a commandment to spread His kingdom. There is nothing more valuable for me in this world than dedicating my whole life to seeing His kingdom spread out through the nations. Everything else will fade away but in the end all I will have is God. In the end all that we will have is God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. It fills my heart with joy and passion. I want to dedicate my life to seeing people believe that all that matters is having God be the Saviour of their souls. That is what I am doing with my life. That is my purpose, the reason I live. We have a choice, we either store things up on earth or focus on the eternal, and that is the kingdom of heaven. 
I am looking for people who believe in this purpose. I not only want this but I need people to be part of this with me. I am tired of doing it alone and asking people to join but no one decides to take the challenge with me. I need people to pray with me, I need back up. I need people to help me pay for this lifestyle I live. I don't get a salary for my work. If you are willing to take this challenge then write me an email, or a message on Fb saying I want to be part of this. This is me asking you to be part of it. I want a prayer team. Can you imagine if I had a prayer team how much more Jesus would do through me and through you who are praying with me? Just think about it. Take the challenge. 

I want to thank those who have taken the challenge with me in these past three years. You have been such and incredible blessing. With every donation, be it small or big, I have always smiled to the fact that there are people out there who believe in my greater purpose and our greater purpose as the body of Christ. So, Thank you! Gracias! tack så mycket!

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.                                                     
-Matthew 6:19-21


⁷ Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

-2 Corinthians 9:7

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

About two years ago God told me to not make any plans, that I should just follow what He has for me. I battled with this idea so much. I freaked out; I thought I wouldn't be able to have any sense of direction ever, that everything in my life would be last minute.  Later on I found out that what God meant for me is that I should just let every day come, and worry only about that day. To be aware of what He has to say to me and start acting upon it.  

As you know I came to Sweden thinking that I would be here for three months, later on that turned into 10 months in total.  Being in Sweden I was surrounded by people who had studied the Bible, they know it so well and they were passionate about the Word of God. Hearing them speak about certain things in the Bible made me realize that I don’t know the book that I claim to believe in.  Since then I have gotten a hunger to get to study the Bible, to be able to grasp who God is in a whole different level. 

Fortunately YWAM has a 9 month school in which you study every single book in the Bible, verse by verse.  More people know the school as “School of Biblical Studies” or SBS. However I will be studying the Bible Chronologically, in what is called “Chronological School of Biblical Studies” or CSBS, in YWAM Tijuana, Mexico. This school is not an easy school. It requires dedication, motivation, devotion and a huge love and desire to get to know our Maker. In this school I will spend 6 day s of the week studying the Bible.  It is a highly academically demanding school.

 I am willing to dedicate 9 months of my life to get to know the Bible. I think this is a very important step towards my calling. I know God has called me to the nations, to encourage people to live life in a whole new level.  That they may know who God really is and that they can experience Him fully.  I am willing to take the step and make an impact in this world with God. I believe that knowing the Bible and being able to study it myself is a big step into bringing God’s Kingdom to this world.  

I encourage you to partner with me in this process. I am seeking to find people who believe in me and are willing to support me however they can. Give out of what you have to help me reach this goal. Whatever it is you can give, it can be prayer, money, encouragement, or even your taxes (US and Canada), whatever God puts in your heart. Take this step with me; let’s do this together as the body of Christ. Let’s support each other. If you have prayer requests let me know and I will pray for you.

Thanks to all who prayed for me when I had no idea where to take this course at! God cleared the path very fast and showed me that going back to Tijuana, Mexico was what He had in mind for me.

Send me your prayer requests to my email: stephzepeda92@gmail.com it doesn't matter where you are from, or if I know you or not. I am more than happy to pray with you. J

If you want to know more about this course I will be taking in September click on this link.

You can give through PayPal by clicking on the Donate button.

I you want to give a tax deductible payment, or for other options click on this link.

Monday, July 29, 2013

This is the way I have lived a Swedish summer, and I have loved it!

1. Swimming.

I have had the opportunity to swim at quite a few places in Sweden. Some have been colder than others, but it is always worth it to jump into the water after many months of having a frozen ocean.

2. Ice Cream. Lot's of it!

The brain Ice cream that Lovisa gave us, it was very good!

3. Beach Volleyball! 

4. Watching movies outdoors...in this case the Emperors New Groove!

5. Midsummer! 

The swedes have a celebration called "Midsommar". This is the day of the year with most sunlight. The sun goes down at around 12 at night and comes up at 3 in the morning.

To celebrate this the swedes get together and dance. We were supposed to see some typical Swedish dances but it was a rainy day. Fortunately the rain did not stop us from dancing together to the midsummer tunes. After this event everyone has a barbecue and eats delicious strawberries. As a celebration my friends and I decided to go swimming at midnight, since midsummer is celebrated on the longest day of the year. So much fun!

6. Strawberries, wild cherries...overall BERRIES!

If you know me well, you know that I am more of a berry person than a chocolate person. The summer in Sweden is all about eating strawberries, and of course the typical "Jordgubbstårta", or strawberry cake; it is so delicious. 

I have also had the opportunity to eat wild cherries for the first time. This has been one of my favourite things to do. They are so delicious!

 

copyright. theswedeandsourkitchen.wordpress.com

My friend, Lovisa made this delicious berry dessert after a great day at the beautiful Island of Öckerö.

7. Picnic and Fika

One of the most enjoyable thing to do with friends is to go to the beach and have a picnic, or like the swedes say, have some Fika...and of course followed by a good, cold swim!

8. Swedish Barbecue

The Swedish barbecue consists of delicious grilled meat, potatoes and salad. Followed by some dessert! I have enjoyed two Swedish barbecues, both very fun. Especially because we got to eat steak. 

9. Beach Bonfires 

This has been one of my favourite things to do. Go for a swim and then enjoy roasted marshmallows or sausage wrapped with bread dough to cook in the fire. 

10. Fun with friends...go on a boat!

 I have even been able to go on a boat and wake board for the first time! If you travel around the west coast of Sweden you will see how boats are part of the Swedish summer experience. Therefore this is a must.

My friends and I went wakeboarding and tubing! It was fun, scary and a little painful haha.

I have had such a great summer, and I thank God so much for letting me live a Swedish summer. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

 Hey there everyone! :D
-If you didn't notice before, in this page I have a list of the things I want. There used to be three things listed. Now there is only two because I GOT A CAMERA!Yes! A friend from the base gave me a Nikon D50! I have been asking God for this for a long time, and He finally thought it was time that I got the camera. :) The pictures in this post are all taken with the camera :) 
(Me, Austin, Nicole, Jeremy) 

QUICK NEWS:

-God has provided 608 dollars of my school fees! YES! Now I need 912 american dollars to finish paying for my school. Please pray so that God may provide. God is faithful. If you want to join with me in this one, please invest in what God is doing in my life through these teachings. If you can give money, donate. I promise you it is not a waste. (Contact me stephzepeda92@gmail.com or click the donate button in this page to donate through pay pal) 

          So, it's been a long time since I have updated you guys with what has been going on in Sweden. It would be hard, well kind of boring for you guys if I told  you everything that has been happening over here. If I summarize it for you guys I could conclude that life is hard. Over the last weeks God has been working on me so much. He is always doing that, but especially these last few weeks have been a bit more intense. A lot of ups and downs. I have been learning a lot about who I am,  what I am actually good at, learning to speak up, confront people. God wants me to become stronger. 

          The beauty of going through hardships in life is knowing that it will work out for my good. (Romans 8:28) Yeah we hear this all the time, but think about it. God has a plan for you, it's not just a saying, God actually has things He wants to work out in your life. The future He has for you does not come in 10 years. The future He is preparing for you starts now. I have learned that everything I am going through is something that God is using to mold me into the person He wants me to be. In that way, I will be able to be even more fruitful in the future. More lives surrendering through God because of the way I worship Him through the way I live my life. Ok, back to the update. During these weeks in the school of worship God has shown me a lot about what to expect for my future. It is actually starting to take shape. I would tell you guys what He has said, but I think it is better if you go along with me as it happens. 

          I feel like I have accomplished a lot in these last weeks. As some of you know I am very shy about singing in worship, or just singing in front of people. I am now happy to say that I am a whole lot more confident in my singing. I can see how I have improved from the beginning of the school till now. I am starting to take risks and I have been singing high notes! I even included high notes on the song I wrote last week! yay! Thank you Jesus!

         On another note, I ,have been very worried (I know I shouldn't) about my next step. There is one thing I have decided, and through the school of worship it has been confirmed a whole lot more to me. I need to study the whole Bible. To do that I will take a 9 month course in YWAM, in which you study the Bible deeply. (I will probably give you more information about this in my next update) But I need you to pray with me please. I need to decide where to do this. I have three options in mind

1. Stay here in Sweden

2. Go back to Mexico

3. Go to Australia

All these places have pros and cons. I still don't have peace about any of the places, I am searching for an answer from God on what place would be the best for me. So join me in prayer to be able to choose the right place, a quick prayer will work. Prayer moves mountains! 

Thank you so much for your prayers! I can really feel it when I have been prayed for. :) 

Friday, May 10, 2013

I will have to admit that many times I have taken worship lightly. I drag myself to the community meetings. I move my lips to the worship songs, while my heart is somewhere else. Let's admit it, we have all been there at least once. I started to notice that this scenario had become more common as I got more "mature" in my faith. Sad, but true. What happened to me that I became so bland? It's as if as the years went by since I became a christian, I slowly started building a wall between God and I in worship times. I had become detached, wondering why this is not all about me, then worship would be interesting. 

For the past 5 weeks I have been part of a Worship School. There were many days that I sat in class wondering what am I doing here. My insecurities bubbled up and left me believing that worship is not for me. Honestly that is one of the biggest lies out there. It's not only a lie I have believed before, but a lie that many people believe. The truth is every believer is called to worship. 

I know many people who get frustrated with what we call worship in the church. Me being one of them. Not all of us express our admiration to God through songs that we have been singing for years. Our limited knowledge of what worship is has made us complacent to traditional worship. When there are so many ways to worship. We work, talk, walk, sing, dance or play an instrument, bottom line in everything we do we praise the Lord. 

Think about it, we are children of the creator of heaven! He has given us His grace and His mercy. He has loved us, forgiven us, accepted us. He has transformed us! We praise him because He is Holy, He is mighty, powerful, glorious, worthy. It is not until we understand how much we need him that we will walk into our community worship times without caring about how we feel. We will go back to the heart of worship, that is to honor the king of Kings, the great I am, Jesus prince of peace. To live a life of daily sacrifice of yourself, and complete surrender to the Lord. 

"Let everything that has breath Praise the Lord,

Praise the Lord"

Psalm 150:6

Week 1: Culture. As we get to know cultures, we are getting to know different aspects of God. Worship God through your culture! 

Week 2: Lifestyle of a Worshiper. Live a Godly life that glorifies the Lord. 

Week 3: Identity. Be confident in who God has created you to be

Week 4: Songwriting. Come together in one accord to worship. Be excellent in your work. Practice your instrument! 

Prayer Points:

·  I have been struggling a lot with things in my past and being hurt. Pray that I may come closer to God's heart. 

·   Confidence with my voice. 

·   For provision. I need to pay for the school! I owe around 9,000 SEK. and I also need to pay for my own food. 

Contact info: 

stephzepeda92@gmail.com 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Hej guys!

I wish I was better at keeping you updated with what has been going on these past few months. Very often I lack inspiration to write down the many things I have done. To update you quickly this is what is going on. I have two weeks left of working with the UMU team. This is because in April 4 I will start my new school/ class "School of Worship" (SOW). If you have no idea why I am doing this you can check out this blogpost. I am very nervous and excited to do this school, and learn more about worship.
Not so many people know but I have actually started to learn how to play the guitar! Yes it is so exciting! Haha. Funny story to share, I have been trying to push away the idea of me being involved in worship. At the beginning of the year I had very beautiful long nails, if you play the guitar you know that it is fairly impossible to play the guitar with long nails. My problem was that I knew I had to practice guitar, but my nails were so cute I did not want to clip them, (I know I am such a girl! Haha) It was a bright morning in Sweden, I lay in my bed, took a look at my left hand, and it happened. One of my fingernails was broken! The funny thing is that I immediately knew that it was no coincidence, I knew God had done this. Yeah it may sound ridiculous but I know Him so well, that I knew it was Him. I look up and say, "Ok God I get it, I will start practicing playing guitar.” I have been practicing ever since; I use the guitar we have in the prayer room since I don't have my own. I am not the greatest but I can actually play a few songs now!  

So, here are small updates on what I have been doing in Sweden for the past few months. 

Mission Possible
Towards the end of January, youth pastors from the Gothenburg area had a gathering, called “Mission Possible”. Being part of the UMU team we got to receive the teachings that were given, and we also got to promote DTS! It was very nice to see so many young leaders get together and to get the youth in Sweden motivated to rise up. This time was special to me because my loved grandmother had just died and I was in deep pain. The main speaker of the conference prayed for me and after that I felt way better. It was nice to get off of base and get closer to actual Swedish culture.
Youth Group in Torslanda 
With the UMU team, we visit youth groups regularly. To me as a foreigner in Sweden, there are two kinds of youth groups, those who want to speak in English and those that don’t. The youth group in Torslanda is definitively a group that does speak in English, which is great to me since I can actually communicate and feel useful. This group is a led by Dan Olofsson a former DTS student from Restenäs, who is doing a great job at leading this group into a real encounter with Jesus. Being in this group was amazing, I had a lot of fun being able to talk and be funny. I also got to share about being real with God. Talking to Him as a friend and not being afraid to tell him how you feel, if you are angry, frustrated, happy or sad. Overall how important and how great it is to know God, and how as you get to know Him, you start to know His voice and how even the little things in life come from Him. I really enjoyed sharing about that, but I think my favorite time was in the end where we got in group of 3 to pray. I was talking to Emilia and Viktor, they had no about how to pray. I told them it was a conversation, just like you would talk to a friend. I was so excited to tell them how I talk to God. In the end I encouraged them to pray for each other. They gave a small prayer, nothing too fancy, but simple. I thought it was beautiful. After we left the group I found out that Viktor is actually a new believer! It was so good that we got to be there to teach the basics about a relationship with God. God knew that we had to give that message, wow! 
Weekend in Tidaholm
I think one of the greatest things about the UMU team is that we are a mobile team. Every once in a while we get to travel to different parts of Sweden and be speak at churches and Youth groups about missions, and whatever God tells us to talk about. This weekend we got to go to one of our team member’s home church. It was very nice to visit the church. It was a bit of a challenge for me. Before every event, we pray to see who will do what. We decided that I was going to speak on Surrender on Saturday night. It was a bit of a challenge since it has been so long since I have prepared a sermon, and my relationship with God was not at its greatest point. I was going to speak on surrender though, haha. I had to surrender my nerves, my emotions my actions to God. I spend a good time with Him before giving the sermon and it was nice. Just like the good ol’ times when you surrender and let God do what you cannot do. It is always best to let Him to what He does best…be God. 
School in Gothenburg
Many times it is great to be able to work with the local churches, it is few times you get an opportunity to actually speak about God to a group of students from many religious backgrounds, including Muslims. Two times a month, every Wednesday, we get the opportunity to visit a school in the city of Gothenburg. We have a whole school day with students that are around 15-16 years old. We give the students talks on topics that they have expressed interest in. The times I have been there we have talked about the Holy Spirit and about Relationships. Anna, the elder of our team gave an amazing teaching, explaining God’s view on relationships and sex. For the very first time I got to share a testimony of my hurtful experience with my ex-boyfriend. God had once said before I came to Sweden that He knew that I had been in pain because of that relationship, and that it will not be in vain. I can see why He said that, now others can learn from my mistakes. My friends said it was exactly the kind of testimony teenagers need to listen to. I am not sure how my testimony affected the group of girls especially, but I know that they will remember what I said. 
So, what now Steph? 
I only have one more week left in the UMU team. I have enjoyed being part of this amazing group of people. Please pray for us, on Wednesday we will be going to the school in Gothenburg again. This time we will have the students do personality tests, learning styles tests etc… This is so that they can find out how they are wired, and figure out that we are all wired differently and that is ok. Pray that God will give us words of encouragement for them and that we may be able to guide them well.

In April 4, I start my next season in the School of Worship. I have a large mix of emotions for this next school. People ask me how I feel about it and I am not sure what to say. I am excited yet a little nervous for the challenges that are about to come for me. I love singing, I love worship, and I love Jesus so much. I am very glad that God has been asking me to be involved in worship. I want to sing with all of my heart to Him. I can’t wait to tell you stories of what God will do in my school. Please pray for me in this time, it will definitively be a challenge for me and I also still need finances to pay for the school. 
All the best to you guys! Thank you for reading my long update! Thank you so, so much for praying for me, I greatly appreciate it. Please keep on praying for me. J