I didn't really start writing with the intention about talking about how stressed I've been. I actually want to talk about how wonderful the Bible School has been for me. I know, this first paragraph isn't necessarily encouraging anyone to do the Bible School. But to all of you out there thinking about doing the Bible School I am doing, this is part of the reality of it. Unfortunately stress is not meant to be part of the reality of the school. Just like stress is not meant to be the reality of our lives.
At the beginning of the school I think I really understood how things were supposed to work like. I had come to Mexico to study the Bible. In order to get the most out of the Bible you need to do it with God. This is a truth I forgot recently and that is why I fell under stress. At the beginning of the school I knew that my priority was to spend time with God. I would not start homework unless I had a few hours praying, playing guitar or just spending time with God. I didn't do it religiously but I did it because I knew that if I didn't do this then my homework would be crap. I mean why would you ever study the Bible on your own when you can have God's perspective on it?
Because I did this I learned so many amazing things! I can certainly say now that I know how God loves. Going through the Old Testament I have been able to truly see God's expression of love. He loves so much! In Genesis he shows the Israelites their identity. He tells them this is where you come from. I have created you to be a blessing and in the future you will bless the whole world. So he gives them this big revelation of who they are and then gives them guidelines as to how to be a holy people, completely different than the other nations. This was a covenant based on love. Unfortunately the people of Israel rejected God so many times. They were obedient to him sometimes this is where our Bible heroes come in, Moses, Joshua, the judges, David and many others. However they rejected God so much, and even though they basically spit in God's face, God still loved them with such a fierce love. In Jesus all this love is presented. He is the ultimate expression of that love, he gave his life for us. This is what has impacted me the most out of Bible School. Going through God's story has opened my eyes and now I can see why people say that God loves. Seriously, I know I have been just like the Israelites most of my life! And still he loves me! He loves you!
Honestly I don't think I would have had all these amazing revelations if it wasn't for how I put my relationship with God before my homework. This was my mistake this last quarter. Homework became a priority and not God, therefore I became stressed. I can understand now that the Bible school will come to an end that not taking care of my relationship with him has been the worst mistake I have made. If you think about it this is the same with our lives. We find other things that become priority, work, family, ministry. Don't get me wrong these are huge priorities, but if we put them before God then our world will crumble. Not because God is controlling and will make things go bad if you are not with him, but because we don't really know how to handle life apart from God. He is the only one who will give us peace, joy, wisdom, strength. We can try and get these things on our own but we'll burn out. If we drink of the water he offers us then we will never go thirsty.
So to all those who are thinking of doing the Bible school I'm doing. There is one word of advice I have for you. Don't you ever let yourself become proud and think that you can study the Bible on your own. Make sure you make your relationship with God a priority over homework. If you do this I will guarantee to you that you'll enjoy this school to the fullest, no stress, only joy. To all of us I say the same thing, don't learn this the hard way like I am. We need to remember that He is our source of life, strength, peace and joy. Let us not be proud but let's humble ourselves daily.
P.S: Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me be here! To all of you who have prayed for me or have given me money so I can continue in my studies! Thank you is not enough, but it's all I have to give! :)
